Hello dear readers!

As technology continues to advance, it appears that no human job is truly safe, including security work.

It looks like Silicon Valley is soon to be patrolled by robot guards, weighing 300 pounds and standing 5 feet tall. They will patrol areas, records observations, and report any suspicious activity to local law enforcement.

I know, I know, we still need the humans to apprehend the criminals (for now), but think about the fact that your typical human security guard, many of which are strictly instructed to observe and report, and never apprehend, can be replaced without concern for (1) workers’ compensation injuries; (2) breaks, naps, or (3) the risk of a labor suit for overtime, wage and hour claims, etc.

Currently, Knightscope, the company releasing these robot guards, is charging $4,500 per month per robot for 24/7 operation, which boils down to well under minimum wage. Perhaps the legend of John Henry is alive and well, and even the keenest and most dedicated of “observe and report” security guards will soon find themselves replaced with the modern steam drill.

Remember, folks, this is a trend: some supermarkets are starting to deploy robots to patrol the aisles to scan shelves that need to be restocked. Warehouse shelves are also emptied by robotic arms in lieu of human ones.

So, what’s to be done, dear readers? Shall we rise up in arms against our robotic overlords and demand a return to the traditional life of clubs, caves, and grunting? Or is this yet another reminder that California should shift its attention away from raising the minimum wage and, instead, to encourage a labor force that is not being replaced by machines? Do engines get rewarded for their steam?